Training Wheels

Today marks a few things:

1) The first day of fall!! (hello plaid everything, crisp cool weather, pumpkin everything!!)

2) My mom left to go back home after helping us after the birth of our baby (she was here 3 weeks!!)

3) The training wheels have come off.

Let me explain. Having my mom here was a tremendous help. She did everything a new mom could ever hope for or ask for. She did things I didn’t even realize I would need or appreciate. She did laundry, dishes, she CLEANED (and not just the usual sweeping the floors kinda thing, but DEEP cleaning, like dusting my blinds and window sills, scrubbing my bath tub and the top of my refrigerator and wiping down the inside of the fridge, even scrubbing the top of my stove). She bought us groceries and helped us prepare food when we didn’t have someone dropping off a meal (which people have, by the way, and it is one of THE most helpful things! If you only do one thing, please bring a meal to a new mom and her family! Or get them a gift card so they can pick up a meal. It’s the best way to serve them, believe me!).

So my mom was a huge blessing to us and we were very thankful for her help. I was blessed to have an amazing delivery (I promise…the birth story is next! I haven’t forgotten!), but even so, I was worn out afterwards and there’s nothing like having your mom there to mother you after you’ve given birth. Towards the end of her trip, I felt like I didn’t need her as much, but it was nice having her here and I would have definitely have needed her more if I had had surgery.

At the end of her visit, I was ready to have family time…just Ben, Charley and me (& Penny Lane!). There had been a few hours where we had been alone as a new family here and there, but we haven’t had a chance to establish a new routine yet and I’m eager for our family to fall into our new rhythm of life.

As I was dropping my mom off at the airport today, I hugged her good bye and we both held on really tightly to each other. All of a sudden I got really emotional and I saw as I pulled away that I wasn’t the only one tearing up. We hugged again. Suddenly this moment felt so momentous, so significant; her baby now has a baby of her own and she was leaving both babies by themselves.

There’s nothing like a mother’s love and there’s no one like your mother. No our relationship isn’t perfect and neither will my relationship with Charley be perfect because no PERSON is perfect. But I’m grateful for the beautiful mother-child relationship and the intense LOVE there is between a mama and her baby.

Today, my training wheels came off. My mother left and now it’s just me. Me being the mama without the back up of my own mother for all the scary firsts. I’ve always felt like Charley’s mom of course, but having my mom leave felt huge. Like I’ve grown up. Like I’m really an adult now.

It’s exciting and terrifying and surreal and the best, all at the same time.

 

xoxo,

Emily

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  1. September 24, 2015 / 2:20 pm

    Very good and thoughtful post. I love you! Can’t wait to see you three later today!

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